dream clients, not so much

last weekend i finally got to watching hbo's grey gardens (for the record, i have yet to see the maysles brothers documentary) and, let me just say, it disturbed me to the core to see the gracious east hampton estate go from this

to this

and then, after jackie and ari bestowed their kindness upon the family (i apologize for the lack of photos here), 

to this

although the home was restored to a habitable state, it was by no means returned to its former glory.  did it hurt anybody else's heart to see those gorgeous (albeit ruined) wallpapers slathered over in yellow and turquoise paint?

clearly big edie and little edie are not what one might consider 'ideal clients', what with their untidy ways and what i can only assume was undiagnosed schizophrenia.  while they possessed a certain glamorous appeal at one point, i think it's safe to say they surpass dream clients one and two combined in the personality-challenged department.  still, if they were to enlist my services as an interior designer, there are a few items from found that i think would incorporate their new lifestyle choices*, while evoking the home's original beauty.

seeing as how the ladies seemed to spend a large portion of their day in bed, these prettily patterned throw pillows could provide comfortable lumbar support,

while an attractive pair of bedside tables would create much-needed, concealed storage space.

and it couldn't hurt to add an extra side chair or two (remarkably similar to the original dining chairs!) for additional seating options.

 

while i would never condone the breeding of cats or the feeding of indoor raccoons, this blue dish would serve as a lovely food bowl for the edies' favorite friends.

and, seeing as how little edie craved the company of other species, a bird friend in a lovely brass cage might be just the thing.

tell me, chickens, how could they resist?

-tyler

* i use the word 'choice' loosely here